Ryan came home for lunch. This doesn't usually happen.
"Jen, that was the grossest, most graphic thing I've ever read in my whole life."
I mean, people, I grew up hooked on National Geographic where you saw a zebra lift its leg and pop a baby out and I often snuck into the computer room and snatched the "dirty" book of the bookshelf. The one from the 70's about the Beauty of Childbirth where they show- in GRAPHIC detail-
I was mutually terrified and enthralled.
To me, some bloody gums and the far-fetched idea that there might be roach babies lining my gums doesn't hold a candle to that business. If the Beauty of Childbirth book were rated "R", then the blog entry was rated "Pg-13."
Still, Ryan assures me I have lost blog readers. One of my guy friends texted to say he officially blacklisted my blog. And that is NOT a good thing. Ryan said he had to "skim" because he was so disgusted. He got an alarmed email from his mother and I have gotten numerous text messages from friends who think I might really have roach baby eggs in my mouth.
And I am sorry if I grossed you out .
I am suddenly feeling like an ogre.
Like I just walked into the room naked and everyone is starring in horror.
Like I just fell off the stage and everyone is gasping because I have made them terribly uncomfortable.
So I am sorry! I did not mean to be overly graphic and make you sick to your stomach. I will try to refrain or at least give warnings:
Warning: this blog is about the rare possibility that I have roach babies in my mouth and it may be too graphic for people with weak stomachs. However, if you like to poke at dead animals or see what you can find in hamster feces, if you find the idea of watching a surgery or childbirth intensely satisfying to your sick, graphic mind... you will enjoy this blog.
Next time I will warn you. I promise. Or I'll just refrain. But please don't leave me blog readers. Please! Please!
PLEASE LIKE ME ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!