Ryan and I went on vacation with our friends Robbie and Maggie to Pagosa Springs, CO. It snowed the entire time and I realized, I am not made for the snow. If I lived up north I would be dying this week. So to Lisa, and all you other northerners, stay inside! Bundle up! Wear three pairs of long johns! I am worried about all of you.
Anyways, we went into Durango one day and I saw this car driving by. It's already ghetto. But then he straight up had two feet of snow on top of his car and for some reason, this really got to me. I could not stop laughing.
We spent New Years in a suburb of Los Angeles playing a show at Knot's Berry Farm (basically like six flags). While the guys were riding roller coasters I had about seven hours of time to kill. Apparently roller coasters are not legal for pregnant women. So I was determined to find good Mexican Food instead and have my own New Year's Eve celebration.
One of my goals while on the road is to truly find the best Mexican food in America. So I try eating Mexican food in every single state I visit. Yes, I have tried it in Oregon, Iowa, Utah, Wyoming, North Carolina, and lots of places in between. So far the worst is Wyoming and the best (besides Texas) is Southern California. Nothing like amazing Mexican food on the beach.
Anyways, I finally found the mecca. Brito's II Taqueria. No English. Cow tongue on the menu (I do NOT eat this, but it does indicate authenticity) and one very loud TV counting down the new year from all over the world in Spanish. Perfect. I sat there a lone, white, out-of-state, pregnant chick, eating my heart out for about an hour. I was a fish out of water and that made me laugh. Who does this kind of stuff? Why is my life so weird? But Happy Freaking New Years to ME!!! I loved every bite of it.
I was at church Sunday night when a desperate pregnant lady desire to pee hit me. I ran to the empty bathroom, relieved myself, and then stood up to flush... but nothing happened. So I mimicked sitting back down and standing back up, you know, just in case the sensor didn't get a glimpse of my huge butt the first time. Still, nothing happened. I did it again. Nothing.
Then I started the dance of impatience. Shaking to the left and right a few times, imaginary hula-hooping back and forth, a few shimmies, and the classic baby-got-back booty wiggle.
"I HATE automatic toilets," I thought to myself, "Uggghhh. Just flush already, I have about one minute of prayer left to secretly slip back in."
Any other bathroom and I would have just left it. But, I figure these are Jesus' toilets and I should make an extra special effort to keep them clean otherwise I might feel guilty and He might curse me with more bad luck at public toilets in the future. So I determined to flush at whatever cost. Just in case.
I was totally frustrated and about that time a little girl comes running in, flies past the first 9 stalls, then lands in the stall right next to me. With a high pitch squeal and the happiest voice she says to her mom, "This is the perfect one!!!"
And the toilet flushes automatically.
Seriously? She just made the toilet feel good about itself and it flushed for her. I was done trying. I would not resort to complimenting my toilet. I turned around to curse my automatic flusher and to tell it.... it was not the best one. It totally sucked. You know, shame it a little.
And that's when I realized my church hasn't gone automatic yet.
Embarrassed that God saw me dance for the imaginary automatic toilet genie for about two minutes straight and then heard me as I tried to make my toilet feel guilty... I humbly flushed my own toilet, washed my hands, and returned right before the prayer ended.
Maybe I did have a perfect toilet after all.