"He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed." Einstein
The Einstein quote of the day on my homepage. Sometimes they are over my head, like yesterdays, "God doesn't care if we are good at math, he works in empiric's." I was hanging with him on the first part, thank God He does not require us to be good at math, I would flunk out of the program. But working in empiricals? Lost me there. I have no idea what that word even is.
But today's I get.
Right now I am sitting in my reading room in my apartment staring at the blinds. I love this spot because the shadows of the tree branches being rustled by the wind covers the entire span of the windows. It's like three floor to ceiling window pictures of nature; they move and change and dance around...all for me, my own little rustling leaves and tree branch performances.
Every morning I wake up and come straight to this room. The entire room is illuminated by the sunlight and the whole place sparkles. The best days are like today, when the wind is blowing like crazy, and there are constant new shadow images on my blinds. I think it is a magical little room. It inspires thinking, praying, writing, and of course, sleeping.
Ryan thinks I am a little weird when I sit in there and just stare at the blinds. I guess that would look kind of weird to other people...me in my pajamas, with crazy hair, sleepy eyes, sitting in a chair, covered in blankets and staring intently and meaningfully at the blinds. Sometimes in tears, sometimes with a big smile on my face , sometimes just talking out loud to them...I can see how this could appear crazy.
This moment for me has not lost its wonder though. It has not lost its awe. Every day it is new. Every day it is beautiful. Everyday I sit all scraggly looking with my mouth gaping and I stare in wonder, and amusement, and joy at the beauty of it all. My blinds with leaves dancing all over them.
This sentiment proves true in most of my life. Every mountain, every snow flake I see fall with my own eyes, every beautiful kid, every act of kindness, every rugged landscape still finds me rapt up in some sort of awe. A strange smile comes over my face and it's almost like me and God start having our own conversation right away..."come on," I say, "this is way too good to be true."
He usually never talks back because He does not have to; his creations say enough. Still I imagine Him smiling at the fact that I don't get over it. That a mountain is still amazing to me. That a snowflake makes my eyes grow wide with excitement. That I b-line it to my little room every morning to watch the shadows of trees on my blinds. Wonder and awe.
Are you as good as dead or are there things that still bring you wonder and awe? Moments where you pause to take things in?
It does not have to be as weird as staring at your blinds in the morning...but there should be something. Something that makes your soul smile and light up when you see it. That makes you stop, if even for a moment, to be in wonder and awe.