Mom, We Need to Talk

I've got two things on my mind this morning friends:
1. Why Facebook, why?
2. Why Mom, why?

What would possibly possess you to publish this picture for the entire world to see? And Lord knows if any of you have met my mom, in the real world or cyber world, this woman will befriend a cat- or cow for that matter-

so when you put a picture up like this MOM a LOT OF PEOPLE SEE IT.
I got an email from Ryan Gregg (band mate, good friend) directed to the whole band and it just said, "OH MY GOSH has anyone else seen this?" Of course I am not a Facebook addict like the rest of you people, so NO, I haven't seen my seventh grade face, awkward body, and weird family dressed in pioneer clothes posing with guns and whips and whiskey bottles plastered all over the forsaken world wide Internet.
When I was in the seventh grade at Byrd Middle School in Duncanville, Texas I made it onto the volleyball team. The "B" team. I was completely spastic. Completely uncoordinated. And I couldn't even serve the ball overhand. Didn't matter. You would've thought an Olympic volleyball player had taken the court the way she carried on hoopin' and hollerin'. I'm not making this up. Brandi? Brandi can totally vouch for this.
She brought a cow bell and wore her t-shirt and wore pins with my face on it and carried on like we were playing for a million dollars. I was in seventh grade. B Team. Doing the whole underhanded serve which usually went straight behind me, hit the basketball goal, and I would spastically startle and end up ducking. Didn't matter.
I was the world's best volleyball player.
She's the kind of mom with no "child sensor." It genuinely doesn't occur to her that the whole world is not interested in every detail of our lives. It doesn't occur to her to be censored, reserved, shy, or to withhold any feeling or emotion she may have about us or about God or about her former pet cow. Why wouldn't everyone want to know everything about us? Why shouldn't she bear her soul to the world? Why shouldn't she have enough pride and encouragement to save the entire planet from depression and lack of confidence?
Oh my gosh.... I'm just like her, aren't I?!?!?!?!
Well, that's all. Since I'm not on Facebook I figured I ought to respond to this new development in some way.
1. We look like the Manson's mom.
2. Just because we had no money and went on vacation to state parks in Arkansas, free health expo's, and Six Flags doesn't mean the world has to know. I mean, don't you got any Disney Pictures? Where we have little Minnie Mouse ears and look like respectable ladies? Granted, we look like acceptable ladies in that pic... if we were driving freaking horse buggies, plowing the field, and burying babies because of measles...
3. I forgive you for embarrassing me out of love. Sometimes I want to lock you in a closet with lots of stuffed animals and just let you talk your little heart of love out until you lose your voice, but, I'm almost thirty and I've never heard you lose your voice my entire life. That is really amazing now that I think about it. Never once lost your voice. Dad, is that a cruel joke by God or what?
That woman's never lost her voice! Ha! I love it!
I love you mom. Thanks for being so proud of us that you even think we are beautiful with corsets, boas, and whips.