For an entire year I have dreaded going to the dentist.
With 13 cavities looming large over me, which is an obvious snub from the tooth fairy, I decided maybe I would never go again.
But then there was the whole, "when I eat sugar it feels like a nail is being shoved up my gums into my already chaotically small brain," sensations which made me think that the responsible thing to do as a young, card-carrying, dental insurance holder would be to go.
So I decided to give the dental world another shot. But this time, I found a new dentist.
No offense to the young, but I am a little leery of having some kid my age poke around on my teeth in the first place. I mean, really, we were both born in the 80's, we both loved ET, Super Mario Brothers, and New Kids on the Block, and we both celebrated birthdays at Pizza Hut and the original Show Biz Pizza...this means they are hardly qualified to do anything in my mouth. My mouth, my rules.
I wanted someone above the age of 60. Preferably with wrinkled hands, gray hair, and maybe a lazy eyelid.
And I found him. Minus the lazy eye.
After small talk about our lives, churches, the music world (his son works in Nashville too), and a lovely cleaning from the hygienist who has worked at the same office for 17 years, Dr. Myers quickly debunked my 13 cavities.
13 cavities? I barely have that many teeth. (No lie, my orthodontist ripped quite a few out in his evil hay-day). And with the amount of fluoride in the water and advanced health in our country, the doc said 13 cavities would be nearly impossible to achieve.
Instead, I am proud to re-announce that my new cavity total is... drum roll please...ONE.
I am SO annoyed. I have lived in tooth fear for an entire year of my life; avoiding hard candies, coke, and anything else that seemed like a mouth sin. I have brushed way too much. And I have taken to flossing almost every day. Think of how much time I have wasted on superfluous dental care? How many sweets I could have eaten guilt free? How many nights I could've said, "Ah, I don't have cavities, I'll just brush extra good in the morning."
And all this because a young, cavity hungry dentist filled my mind with tooth decay and doom.
Lesson learned: have as many milkshakes as you want and never go to a doctor under the age of 60, they have lived long enough to know that teeth are just teeth...not the end of the world.