I was at Starbucks yesterday and there was a swarm of cute little birds all around. I say cute because some birds are actually quite repulsive and annoying and you feel the urge to shoo them away, chase them, or sometimes you kind of want to stomp on them. Terrible, I know. But these were cute little birds yesterday. If I knew proper birds names and descriptions, I would tell you what kind they were. But since I know about 5 bird names, we will just guess and go with the finch. Yes, there was a swarm of little finch birds around my table yesterday.
They were eating bright orange Cheese-Puff Cheetos.
And all of a sudden I felt terribly guilty. It's not enough we are producing the chunkiest little kids in the world with the highest type two diabetes rates and then marketing our junk food-soda-driven-partially hydrogenated-sugar crazy snacks to the rest of the world for profit , but we have to make our birds fat too???
I tried to take some pictures on my phone so you could see, but they didn't turn out. Just know that these little birds were not messing around. They were battling each other for these cheese puffs. Once they had it in their mouths they scurried away, put it on the ground, and started pecking away at it like they hadn't eaten since breast feeding days. Or whatever birds do. So I wondered if it was just the cheese puffs or if they pretty much like anything we leave laying around. I put down a piece of my Kashi bar and it was gone in seconds. The next test was a dollop of my sacred whipped cream. And sure enough, they cocked their heads, turned themselves upside down, and opened up their little bird mouths as fast as they could. I love whip cream. But I am not sure I would turn my head upside down and and hurt my spinal cord in order to have it. Little finches don't seem to mind though.
Mind you this was purely scientific research so I could write this blog. So please don't feed the birds! I mean what happened to worms and grubbies and bugs? Little bird baths and big back yards and tress? You guys know I am not a big animal lover, but this made me sad. Those little birds shouldn't be eating Cheetos. They shouldn't have to live at Starbucks. They shouldn't like whip cream.
Migrate dumb birds! Go to a rain forest! Fly to a bird cage at the zoo! Find my grandparents, they live in Mississippi, they will feed you bird food and take pictures of you! Forsake the Cheetos! Do not be sucked into our fast food nation!
*So a friendly reminder to please pick up your crumbs and please don't feed the birds. I think we are not only facing global warming, terrorism, the lowest house market in history, massive poverty, war, and the beginnings of recession...but also, the obese bird epidemic.*
And if you want to know more about people who are trying to help our children not eat too much junk food at lunch, check out this great interview I saw on Rachel Ray the other day, or go to SchoolNutrition.Org
Rachael Ray's Incredible People introduces Chef Seth Bixby Daugherty.