Therapy Thursday

Letters From My Sister

a true form of therapy...

On Getting your Christmas Wish List Together

Family…

Yep, you know it, it's that time once again! Time to put the tree up, and to dream of a white Christmas, and to come on ring those bells, AND time to start thinking about your Christmas Wish List. That's right, what would you love most to find waiting for you under that Christmas tree of love this Christmas?? Do you hope for a little red wagon, the kind that makes you fly, whatever it is, your heart desires, now is the time to be thinking about it. And I propose this year we write our lists in the form of a letter to Santa Clause. Yes, that is right, a sweet letter telling Santa what it is YOU want for Christmas this year. Then forward that letter on to everyone else, and it will be just like Santa Clause is coming to our doorsteps once again, dropping off wonderful surprises for us to wake up to on Christmas morn. And don't forget to remember, Jesus is the Reason for the Season! Much Love and Happy Santa Writing (Ryan this means you too!) ~Mel

On Responding to Melissa

Dear Melissa,

Do you know what the date of today is? It has to be almost Thanksgiving, right? Oh wait...let me look at my calendar. That can’t be right...my calendar says it’s only Oct 9. So only 9 days ago we were in the month of freakin’ September.

I am still high off the big Columbus Day celebration we had yesterday. We still have Reformation Day, Halloween, All Saints Day, Election Day, Veterans Day, Remembrance Day (for our Canadian friends up north), Thanksgiving, Feast of Christ The King (for you Catholics), Chanukah (for people of Jewish descent) and even Advent before we get to Christmas.

Please get back to me when we are about 30 days away from Christmas. I might have a list ready. I have to see what I get for All Saints Day first before I can finalize my list.

Much Love and full of the Holiday Spirit,

Ryan

On Some Things Never Changing

It's Christmas in Killatee with all the folks at home! (She means Killarney, a Bing Crosby Christmas classic.)

I know, I know Ryan, I'm not allowed to start any of this until AFTER Thanksgiving, but I just can't help it!!! So since we are going with the theme, Less is Best, this year, I thought it would be a good idea to start giving suggestive suggestions, not saying you have to stick with any code of buying, but you know, just thought since I was going to be starting my Christmas looking that YOU could start giving me your Christmas listings! =) That rhymed.

On Following Up

Well Hello Again Everyone!!

This is your friendly reminder that I will be doing most and hopefully ALL of my Christmas shopping on Black Friday (actually, the outlet malls in San Marcos open at 12am on Thursday night and the biggest sales will be going on from 12-6am, and I will SO be there! And if anyone would like to join me it will be a TON of fun!!!), but anyways, this is your last opportunity to give me a list of what you want, otherwise I will just be creative, but I'm not actually a very creative person so it will be to your benefit to send me a list!!!

Dad and Sarah, you have sent out a very small list, and unfortunately Sarah, I don't think I'll be able to buy you furniture. Dad, you have sent out just a few things as well, and there just aren't enough things on your list to go around...kay???? (And by the way, that runner's calendar looks really cool, but that site is shady!! They won't even tell you how much you are paying for everything and they just say "bill you later", which is very tricky business, I put in a fake name and address to see if the total would come up at the end, and it didn't, so BOB GEORGE who lives on 555 East Dr. in San Antonio will be receiving a runner's calendar this year =) Hope the house is vacant or non-existent.)

On what to buy Melissa’s cat, Tiger, for Christmas

My cat, who is most definitely mentally handicapped, truly needs other things to occupy its poor little feeble mind, because as of right now, he is eating toilet paper, and I'm not sure where he got the toilet paper from, considering we ran out last night, but this is how he spends most of his days, except when he is napping in his kitty litter box. So really, he needs toys.

On the Pervasive Randomness My Sis Possesses

From Dad: I don't know what it's like where you guys are, but it's snowing where I am! Don't worry, supposed to be less than an inch accumulation...barely enough for a snow mouse!

Melissa’s response: I LOVE SNOW MOUSES!!!

Melissa’s response to me adding my mother in law to the family e-mail list, “Hmmmm, I recognize all those e-mail addresses up there, except who is Ila???? Well anyways, nice to have a new family member aboard, whomever you are!”

On Planning a Party when Melissa is Unavailable

Family- As we all know, no one can have an adequate, happily spent, mesmerized, delightful, wonderfully intoxicating (on joy of course), lovely, Happy Birthday Day party without ME, HELLO!!! And of course the others might add something special as well. So I vote NO for this course of action! NO because I like cake, yummy foods, and ice cream, and I like presents (even if they aren't mine), and I like biscuits, and sing-song fests, and old grandparents telling lame jokes, and animals running around the house like a wild barn or a forsaken zoo. And so my vote is NO, because without all of this, how could one really, truly, have a happy birthday???? I must say it would be non-sensical, unfashionable, unthinkable, illogical.... absurd, asinine, brainless , cockamamie, crazy, daffy*, daft , dingy, dippy*, doltish *, dotty*, fantastic, fatuous , feebleminded*, half-baked*, half-witted*, harebrained... to truly think you could have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, without me and all the other things that make birthdays so special at the Chisolm house!!.

(Sorry, I had to rely on dictionary.com to help with those last words =)...)

But, I guess it is not MY birthday, and so whatever suites you best, well, I guess we have to go with that idea, even if that doesn't include me and yummy food and disturbed animals. Ok, Fine, My Vote is YES, yes you can have your happy birthday without me, but don't think I'm not going to sulk about it, because I am.

On The Deep Well That Runs Within Her

I remember the words that are on the little board at Glorieta. You'll have to stop by and take a picture of the old wooden sign if it is still there. (The last time she saw this sign was over ten years ago):

An hour spent in silent prayer,

Within God's sacred garden here,

Brings sweet content within the soul,

as self I yield to His control.

I set each human problem free,

And in it's place, dear Lord, to thee,

I build an alter deep within

Secure from life's depressing sin.

On Loving Me Well

Melissa recently sent me an email with these words. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Sometimes I'm a selfish fake

You're always a true friend

And I don't deserve you

'Cause I'm not there for you

Please forgive me again

I wanna be there for you

Someone you can come to

Runs deeper than my bones

I wanna be there for you

I wanna be there for you

And be someone you can come to

The love runs deeper than my bones

I wanna be there for you

*Sometimes love and laughter are the best forms of therapy.

Thank you Melissa for being water to my soul…

and one of the best therapist’s I have ever known.*

Don't Be Deceived...

She bites.

I wake up at 6:30 a.m. so I can go work out before the little bundle of joy wakes up and consumes my day with her eating and pooping and playing and singing and I wake up because I am trying to burn the fat that this eating, pooping, and playing little creature caused to come upon my body a year ago (Was that really a year ago? Can my excuse at the gym still be that I just had a baby?) and how does she repay me for my many sacrifices?

The freakin' critter bit me today.

I'm not even kidding.

Here's the deal. I need help. Calling all moms, dads, grandparents, or child therapists:

Why has my otherwise perfectly sweet baby girl decided to turn into a demon and bite me?

It started about a week ago. She started throwing temper tantrums. Anytime she didn't get what she wanted she threw her head back, locked her legs out, and screamed like she had her fingers slammed shut in a door. It sounded painful. Truly. So I began trying to figure out what was wrong. When you are a mom, you become good at everything by default. One of your first new skills is that you become a detective. You look at poop and rashes and try to find a common connection. You analyze diets and dairy for clues. You massage gums and baby booties and wonder if perhaps you have relieved some grievous pain. You take temperature readings in the armpit and on the forehead and perhaps then in the ear and you come up with a consensus. You diagnose.

And you decide at the end of all that, that your critter needs a cold towel.

Because, as my mom would tell me when I was doubled over with the pain of oncoming flu or Strep or near death, "put a cold towel on it and go lay down."

That woman was brilliant. I really believed that a cold towel and a nap cured everything. I had no idea she was buying more free time for herself!

So last week I became a detective, only problem is, I found no culprit and the cold towel didn't work. She was clean. Fed. Well loved. Fever-free and over the peak of teething. Still, she was acting like I threw her out of the car window. Crying. Screaming. Flailing. Anytime I told her no or took a break from walking her around the house (her most favoritist thing to do) ... meltdown.

Maybe that is normal, but this week I noticed the meltdown was accompanied by anger, and that worries me. Real live anger. I have no idea where it has come from. She has begun throwing things when she is frustrated or not placated. She seems overwhelmed by her emotions and truly angry. And this all culminated in me, the woman who birthed this small child into the world, being bit by her.

I knew it would happen- I was just thinking it would be a bit closer to 12 years old. Maybe 16. And probably just a blow to the heart... not real blood drawn to the surface of my skin!

Annie was trying to pull up on the dishwasher door while I unloaded the dishes (this was after several failed attempts to get her to play with her toys in the next room). I told her no. To which she now responds by wagging one finger in front of her and with a very serious face saying,"No, no, no, no, nooooo." It's pretty cute.

We did this several times as she continued to pull up on the dishwasher. So I got on her eye level and said quite sternly, "Annie, NO. You will hurt yourself."

Still, she insisted.

So I picked her up and sat her on the counter. I held her hands in front of her and said, "Look at me baby, when I say no, that means no. You can play with your toys or you can sit and watch Mom, but you cannot pull up on the dishwasher. Do you understand?"

Well, this is when she started screaming and throwing her head back and kicking and generally acting like her whole body had been slammed in a door. I tried to calm her down and keep her from bonking her head.... and that's when she leaned over, growled, and bit a chunk out of my arm. I immediately removed my arm, and with the same intensity, no more, no less said, "absolutely not."

Still screaming, she began to bite her own arm.

Her OWN arm.

OH MY GOSH???

Where did my sweet little baby girl that says "Hi" to every single person and snuggles and loves other children go? And more importantly, what did I do wrong?

I called Ryan in for back up and left the room in tears. How could I have screwed up my child already? What is wrong with her? Why, out of nowhere, has she become aggressive and angry? Throwing her body and her things across the room when she does not get her way? And biting? Really? She bit me!

She bit herself.

She needs therapy.

I am convinced something has gone terribly wrong. Help!