Cupcakes, Sprinkles, and Other Happy Things
Look. I love you. I really do.
But we have got to have some universal standards for these Easter egg hunts. Mmmkay?
There are orange cones out on the field for a reason. It means STAND BEHIND THEM.
I don’t know where your parents are. I really don’t. Oh, wait! THEY ARE PUSHING YOU FURTHER ONTO THE FIELD.
Ignore them dear children.
They have forgotten what the orange cones mean. Deep inside their mommy, daddy souls they want you to win victories they never won themselves. Gently remind them that they must stand behind the orange cones too. Kinda like you do in gym class! They will understand that.
Now children, there is no limit on the eggs you can “hunt for” in these church-sponsored-city-sponsored-mass-chaos egg hunts. But seriously, do you really need 100 eggs in your basket-made-to-carry-a-small-human-being when the poor kid next to you doesn’t even have ten? Show some restraint dear children.
It’s hard, I know. Even though your mom is following you onto the field (which is totally illegal) with an extra Walmart sack (which is just tacky) so you can get enough eggs to feed your entire family (does dad really need candy for his briefcase?!?)… you don’t have to follow her lead, dear children.