Wow. What a day today has been.
I woke up at 4:30am in Dallas. Actually, 3:30am because I accidentally changed the time on the clock when I was setting the alarm (hey, I'm a musician without kids or animals that have to be let out...I rarely use an alarm clock). Anyways, by 10:00am we were in Washington, DC and by 1:00pm we were playing on the same stage as Paul McCartney and Coldplay have recently played on at the XM headquarters studio.
People often ask me if I get nervous on stage. Truth is, I usually don't. This life is so gradual that it all sneaks up on you and rarely leaves you spinning out of control. By that I mean that when you've heard your song on smaller radio stations and then hear it being played on something as big as XM radio (which has 8 million subscribers)it is not terribly shocking; which is good for not getting a big head,if you are prone to getting a big head. When you play for a few hundred people and work your way up to a few thousand it feels natural. The first time you step on the stage and there are 3,ooo people in front of you, it is exciting and thrilling, but not terribly nerve wracking. You have worked your way up to that level and you can take it on with confidence and fun, or on bad days, you can get up there simply because it is a job and you have to get up there and perform. Those days are few and far between.
All that to say, the way this thing has unfolded for me personally, so gradual and steady, with baby steps instead of monster leaps, I am not easily unnerved in my line of work.
That was until today.
Ryan is currently working on a podcast that will go up next week...and promise me you will watch it. Because once you do, you will be armed with a failure so great that any mistake you might make or embarrassment you might endure will at least be measured by another humans failures and you will automatically smile and start to feel better about whatever unfortunate situation you might find yourself in.
I will leave you hanging. Why try to explain something or several somethings when they were all clearly and vividly caught on video? If you want to know the end of this one, what happened when I got terribly nervous, check for the podcast on Monday. Let me just say, thank God for editing and amazing sound techs and thank God for the Beatles who did not have the luxury of digital sound editing and still made the most brilliant music of all time. How did they do it?
I don't like to talk about music accomplishments too much, ie, what is going on with the band and any success we may or may not be having. But I have to say today felt amazing. To be at the XM headquarters in DC meeting people who run every single station and pour their souls and creativity and diversity into music that millions and millions of people listen to...was pretty surreal. On top of that, they seemed to recognize us as a real band. Like, you know, a real, legitimate band. They took pictures of us, gave us a tour of the building and let us meet all the music gurus who run this monstrously incredible machine, they fed us great food, and some even came out to our intimate little studio for the show...and all of a sudden I thought..."Oh my gosh, we might be an actual band that has made it!!!" We might really be getting to live out our dream.
I guess maybe the thought had not occurred to me that this was all real??? But since Ashlee Simpson was at the studio yesterday and we were there today and every other incredible band you can think of has walked the halls here, I pinched myself and thought, hum, we might have tricked them after all. Me, the girl who already has an autograph book ready to go for GMA week because I cannot wait to meet Steven Curtis Chapman and Toby Mac...they think I am an artist. I have longed denied it, but it was hard to escape today.
Maybe we are a real band. Even more strange, maybe I am a singer.
(PS...to my cute dad in Germany. Our XM concert will not air for another month or so. But do not worry, they are making a special copy for you so we can send it over to our military guys. And thank you for buying the band our very own XM radio without which I would not have been nearly as mesmerized by this amazing company today. And while I am at it, thank you for buying me my first karaoke machine and telling me that I had a beautiful voice and always believing in me and always being my friend when I have desperately needed one. I love you.)