10 days and Counting…
By jenny | October 29, 2008
The little tadpole wishes to tell everyone…”thanks for the love”!
So let me tell you about this past week. We had ten shows in a row. Ten is a big number. And by show number nine I was ready to be committed. Show ten I literally just cried out of sheer exhaustion. And day 12 of actual traveling included 4 hours of sleep Sunday night, an eight hour drive the next morning from Illinois to Atlanta, and then a flight home that night to Dallas. That’s what I call a road warrior. And, I win double road warrior points now that I can pull the preggo card!
Then I was home for 36 beautiful hours.
What used to be just a plain little apartment looked like Disney World and Heaven wrapped up in one 900 square foot mecca. I even think there were moonbeams shining in the room and the angelic smell of chocolate chip cookies in the house as we walked in. My old, urban apartment has never captured my heart like it did in those first few moments. I cried just to see my closet. Such a good closet. Such a beautiful little apartment. Jeez…there’s no place like home.
Something New
Anyways, I did something on this trip home that I have never truly done before.
I asked for help.
Real help. Not, “can you help me find the highway” or “could you please feed my cat one day” or “can you help me move this box,” but more along the lines of, “can you please cook three meals for us and meet us at the airport because I am too tired to cook and we don’t have time to drive to you and I just want to sleep.”
And I have to admit it was painfully hard to ask for it; it was like selling my soul to the devil of sloth, pity, and guilt.
But Ryan and I have a great church family and great friends who want to serve us as we serve others and who want to bless us as we are used to bless others. They have told us so. They have asked us to tell them when they can help. They have offered. They are willing and able; but they are not mind readers.
That’s where I had to step in and say, I need help. This is hard for me to do unless there is actual blood, a dead body, or a deadline I have horribly neglected (in which case I only coerce family members into helping me fix my mistakes). To ask for help myself, my general rule is that I need to be at least 75% incapacitated and incoherent or too drugged up to humbly refuse help. Because, really, what lazy schmuck just calls up her friends and says, “I need help. I am too tired to cook or drive can you please make me a homemade meal?”
But the truth is, true humility means getting to the place where you can admit weakness, exhaustion, and your need to rely on others. Admitting that we were made to be interdependent instead of stubborn loners means that we have come to grips with the way Jesus created and taught us to interact with one other. To live in community, care for one another, and carry each other’s burdens… no matter how big or small.
Plop
So even though I felt guilty and lazy and wondered if everyone would question my motives, I finally thought to myself, “I am too tired to do it myself, we both need to rest, and we just need to be taken care of and poured into…and that is reason enough to ask for help.”
Of course my friends met us at the airport with enough food to last for months. Flowers. Candles. Lotion. A journal. Cookie dough. And enough food to last for another few months. They went above and beyond to joyfully take care of us.
Then one of my best friends met me the next morning with our mail and a beautiful baby present and the biggest hug I had gotten in weeks.
And then this morning a friend picked us up at 6:15 am and brought us to the airport. And three friends have written to tell me they are praying for me today.
Wow. What would life be like without friends and community? What would the last 36 hours have been like without admitting I needed a little help and asking for it?
American Airlines is NOT my friend
Heaven only lasted for a few hours. Then I woke up at 5:30 am and sat on the runway for an hour before my first 7:40 am flight was cancelled. Switched planes to a 9:20 flight, taxied out, and then promptly returned to the gate because of “brake failure” and my second flight was cancelled. And finally at 11:00 am, six hours after I woke up, I got on a third flight that made it to our show tonight. I was squashed between to lovely, but very, very large people. Our thighs were rubbing against each other, their arms were taking up both armrests, and they were perspiring. I was terribly uncomfortable.
And I thought, “Man, today would normally totally suck and put me in a bad mood. But how can it? I just had the greatest day with so much love and care from my friends… so this four hour delay really isn’t all that bad.”
Because I asked for help, my one day at home was relaxing and renewing, and it even made today better. My attitude in the light of a terrible travel experience seemed much calmer and I think that was because I didn’t waste my one day of rest on taking care of myself when others would gladly take care of me. And that started a vicious cycle of rest and happiness.
Just a reminder that while it is not always easy to swallow our pride, set aside our self-reliance and ask for help… it is sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves.
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14 Comments
Josh Wax on October 30, 2008 at 2:00 am.
yeah, i have a big problem asking for help. then again, i’ve never been that exhausted that i can think of…well, at least i’ve never been that exhausted and then had things i needed to do besides sleep.
vanityofvanities on October 30, 2008 at 3:14 am.
Amen – I should learn from you because I don’t think I could do it!
Amy on October 30, 2008 at 4:09 am.
I don’t know how you do it all. I know I couldn’t.
Anonymous on October 30, 2008 at 4:11 am.
Ohh sweet Jenny. Get used to the idea of asking for help… especially when that sweet baby comes along.(Yep, Your Aunt Carolyn told me..aka my mother-in-law..she just couldn’t resist spilling the beans!) Word of advice: NEVER turn down meals…NEVER. Even if your frig is stuffed like a new pillow.
BTW… I am a constant visitor to your blog… Just love it.
Love to see some pictures of the belly??
: ) Lisa (your cousin-in-law—Drew’s wife)
Tonya on October 30, 2008 at 2:49 pm.
I have a hard time asking for help too. But having my 4th baby pushed me over the edge and I *NEEDED* help! And that is what our church families are for! I’m so glad that you were blessed on your 36 hour visit home. Just hearing your concert schedule makes me tired I couldn’t image doing it pregnant. I took like 2 naps a day with my first…I couldn’t with the others.
Courtney on October 30, 2008 at 2:52 pm.
I needed to hear that. And this post put me in such a good mood. Glad you got some much needed love and rest.
Anonymous on October 30, 2008 at 3:17 pm.
Jenny, continuing to pray for you and Ryan. Looking forward to seeing you Dec 12.
BDB
MacKenzie on October 30, 2008 at 3:30 pm.
That picture is making me hungry. I need someone to send me a care package soon, and I hope it has food half as good as the stuff in your picture.
Praying for you!
ponderingwanderer on October 30, 2008 at 4:01 pm.
I have been following your blog for a while now. I often am challenged by things you share and appreciate your writing. It was after I started reading the blog that I discovered Addison Road quite by accident. I have found the music to be even more meaningful because you share so many stories of how you are living out the messages of the songs- even perhaps unintentionally. Thanks for the thoughts/challenges both in writing and music.
Lisa on October 30, 2008 at 7:02 pm.
I’m so glad you asked for help! I had to suck it up and ask for some help myself this week, and it was hard! Remember the lost voice? By yesterday it had turned into bronchitis, both ears infected, and a sinus infection. I am taking a drug store now, and starting to mend. The crazy thing is I have not missed a day of work. I just crash when I get home.
Keep asking for help when you need it! I really hope all the guys on this tour (especially your husband) let you rest a lot in this early stage of your pregnancy. The energy will kick back in soon. For now, get lots of rest (when you can!) Praying for!
~Lisa
Madison on October 30, 2008 at 11:22 pm.
I just found out that you had a blog on tuesday.
I like it…your entries are presonal, prfound, and funny all at the same time! I can totally relate to not liking to ask for help..i hate have to do it so most of the time i don’t.
I’m going to be at your show in Jacksonville, NC on Sunday! I’m excited!
Mayra on October 31, 2008 at 6:26 am.
i’m glad you got taken care of!
euphrony on October 31, 2008 at 5:50 pm.
You ever need any help while in Houston, you know you can talk to Mrs. E and myself.
(And I sympathize with both sitting on the runway and being squished on the plan. I’m no small-fry, but I once got stuck with two people easily twice my size. I’m surprised the plane wasn’t tilting around all the weight in that row!)
Amy M. on November 12, 2008 at 4:51 pm.
I have always had a problem asking for help as well so when God called me and a friend to Haiti, I cried because I knew we would have to go to the church and ask for help in getting there.
Now I feel like you do, blessed to have such a wonderful church family who comes running at the drop of a hat, ready to help us out in any way they can. They not only gave from their pockets but they gave from their hearts. In the Sundays leading up to our trip our pastor brought us to the alter and the whole congregation came forward to lay their hands on us. If that isn’t being blessed then I don’t know what is! Been home for a week and the blessings have not stopped. Now I ask myself why I had been so afraid of asking for help because I would have never gotten to Haiti without it. So I guess like you, I have learned that it is okay to ask for help.