Baby Yikes
By jenny | June 13, 2008
(Mr. President. I feel your pain…)
I have spent the last 113 minutes of my life in a zombie like trance at the computer searching for a rental home.
Bad news. Not only can I not afford a rental home, but now I have carpel tunnel syndrome in my wrists.
I am trying not to freak out, because seriously, I have a roof over my head now…a pretty cute roof I might add. But it is hard being married to someone who is so smart and thinks ahead.
He wonders, as we start thinking about babies, if I will really want to carry a baby up and down three flights of stairs to our third story apartment? If our sink will be big enough for the baby bathtub? If we will have enough closet space? If our car is safe? If it is big enough for a car seat? If I can actually make it up three flights of stairs with a baby bag and car seat? Yikes buddy.
Who thinks that far in advance? I am just wondering how the thing gets out of my body and how many times I can claim pregnancy as a reason to eat Taco Bell in one week.
I am light years behind him in preparation. His questions have put me in a new mother, franicky, tizzy and I have determined that no, I cannot carry a baby up and down three flights of stairs. I can barely get my own thighs up and down three flights of stairs and I often have visions of tripping, falling backwards, and perishing. You might very well see a blog one day that reads, “Your friend Jenny tragically died as she tripped backwards and fell down a flight of stairs last night. No. She was not wearing high heels. Just sneakers. ” In which case, don’t give me a proper funeral, because I will be so ticked if I go out that way. Falling off the stairs, hitting a dear, or overeating (as in, man, that 6th hot dog really shook her up) are three lame ways I would hate to die.
On nights like tonight I do not know what to pray for. To win the lottery? To be given a house by a generous donor who loves our music (wink, wink, hint, hint)? To become less clumsy and more physically astute at climbing stairs? Or to pray that the baby comes out already walking? Or rapture, I could pray for rapture.
I have no idea. All I know is that I have a computer head ache, which is worse than a sonic slushy brain freeze, and I am trying to figure out if I can create a pulley system so that I can put the baby in a bucket and pull her up to the third floor.
Oh yeah, and whether it is totally tragic to just put the crib in the living room and call it a nursery by night?
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8 Comments
Will on June 13, 2008 at 4:36 am.
I laughed at that. Heartily.
HeyJade on June 13, 2008 at 2:54 pm.
Wow, just wow. =)
Here’s the thing with babies, Jenny…they’re worth it. They’re gonna be worth the pain and trouble of hauling that ridiculously heavy and awkwardly shaped infant carrier up and down those three flights of stairs. You will grow mommy-muscles and pretty much become a super woman, and you’ll have your child to thank for it. And for most of the first year (if not more) the baby will not know what it means to have their own “nursery” and it will be easier for you to have them in your room anyway…so hey it’ll all work out when the time is right.
P.S. I don’t recommend the pulley-system, sounds a wee bit dangerous.
Robbie Edwards on June 13, 2008 at 2:58 pm.
Hi Jenny, love your music! As a person who just faced the same situation last year when my daughter was born (living on the third floor) I can tell you that God’s grace will be sufficient. It is obvious that you are giving your life to Him and you should know that He’s got your living situation already worked out. Even if He hasn’t told you yet!
If God’s not worried about it, then why should you?
Anonymous on June 13, 2008 at 5:18 pm.
WOW congradulations, have you told your mom? Ok I will.
Kelly on June 13, 2008 at 7:32 pm.
I’m pretty sure praying for rapture isn’t the answer
But I love your blog, you, and your music 
Kelly
Lani on June 13, 2008 at 8:36 pm.
Pulleys. No, a new house. No, move to NM and I’ll help. Yeah, I like option 3:)
MacKenzie on June 15, 2008 at 3:37 am.
pulleys may be no bueno.
petition your apartment landlord to stick an escalator in your apartment and replace the stairwell. pull stories of safety hazards. yeah try that. yeah.
Jeff on June 18, 2008 at 4:28 pm.
Did you mean hit a deer or a dear? I was just curious.
There are worse ways to go out though,
-heading the wrong way down a one way street on your way to a illiteracy conference because you did not read the sign correctly.
-your last words being “There is no way to choke while doing the human cereal bowl”
Both of those would be way worse.
By the way, if you guys have a balcony you can just use a jet pack to go up and down with the baby. It is safe, dependable, and something that sounds like the Japanese already do.